In defense of my need for sleep aids...

I had a conversation with a friend last week and we were talking about sleep patterns. I admitted that I take an Advil PM pretty much every night and my friend's tone changed to one of deep concern; which startled me a little, until I did some soul searching.

Here is my defense...

1. I have spent the last 10 years going to sleep with the very real possibility that someone will wake me up before dawn, at least one time if not more. I have a job that being a zombie could actually injure someone else. I think we can all agree that no one wants a tired nurse.

2. I currently live in a home with 4 children (ages 9,7,3,and 1). The older two sleep well, as does the baby, but the 3 year old is in the habit of waking up about 4am. Why? He is potty training and I think his need to pee wakes him. I take him to the bathroom, get him some milk and back to bed. (against all parental books, I do give him milk if he wakes up. Why? Because if I don't, his begging and crying will wake up the others and then the agony of me being up in the middle of the night just gets worse. I gotta do what I gotta do, you know?)Does this motion wake up my hubby - ABSOLUTELY NOT! I am the only privileged one.

3. Speaking of hubby, the children are so afraid of waking him that they will navigate their way in the dark to the far side of the bed to wake me. They never go to him first. Not even on Mother's day or my birthday (which is tomorrow)so I know tonight is nothing more to look forward to... more of the same.

4. I don't have a problem falling asleep, I have an issue falling back to sleep when I get woken up. This was true during each pregnancy and little-baby-in-our-room days (which have been repeated four times over). This is true now - listening to-the-monitor-crackle days. I even have turned off the monitor lately to get the extra 15 minutes of morning sleep before the baby's talking wakes up the whole house.

5. My house is up and running at 6:15 weekdays - 6:30 weekends. The only difference is that I get up at 5:45am during the week to get coffee inside of me before I start the morning craziness. On the weekends I just sleep until someone wakes me at the crack of dawn.

6. I am the last to bed - most nights - and the first to get up. I need my sleep to be uninterrupted.

7. I sleep in the same bed as someone who works overtime. Some nights he is out until 2am. If I go to bed at 11pm... get woken up at 1am when he is getting home... then again at 4am with a child who wet the bed... How is this a restful night? I need to be in a C-O-M-A during those precious hours of darkness.

8. I see myself aging and place much of the blame on the fact that I've had broken sleep, every night, for years. My goal with Advil PM is to stop the cycle.

9. It works!!!! About two hours after I take a precious pill (sometimes I double up, depends on whats on the schedule the next day) I get a wonderful feeling of sleepiness; my eyes start closing as I'm reading my homework. I live for this feeling... it is an open invitation to go to bed and know that I will fall asleep, without thinking about homework, class, work, kids, school, projects, laundry, birthdays, Christmas, cooking, shopping and just life in general.

10. I don't have the ability to nap during the day. Sure, I could easily close my eyes and nod off. I'd love to be able to watch Oprah and just chill for an hour each day. But I don't have that luxury! I can't rest... I have dinner to cook, kids to pick up, homework to turn in, laundry to fold, phone calls to make and I don't even talk about the broken window that needs to be replaced, or the hospital calling to collect $700 because of an insurance mix up; or the need for my 9 years old to have surgery and all the effort and doctor visits it took to get that done. I still need to have the seven year old seen by an oral surgeon to see about having a tooth pulled.

11. I'm sure that the day will come when I can go to bed and know that I have a good chance of 8 hours of wonderful sleep. It is the fear of lack of sleep and the knowledge that tomorrow is not a guarantee either, that keeps me going
to the medicine cabinet.

12. If I get a good amount of sleep, guess what? I have a pretty good day...

Good mood = happy mommy = happy kids = hubby doesn't get yelled at = rainbow at the end of every rainshower.

Bad night = bad mood = unhappy, scared children of psycho mother who slams pans on counter and throws homework in the garbage = hubby is sleeping on couch because wife is C-R-A-Z-Y!!!!

Get the picture?


As far as I'm concerned, I am just fine with my little sleep aids. There is never a night that I don't need a good night's sleep because tomorrow isn't a busy day. Even if I don't have a hectic schedule, I just want to sleep.

The active ingredient in Advil PM is benadryl. It is not physically addictive (they say, I won't know because I won't test the theory yet )and I consider myself lucky to be part of the 60% of people that it makes sleepy. (Bet you didn't know that 40% of people take the stuff with no effect.)

So, I bid you goodnight.

My body is becoming relaxed and I am looking forward to my favorite time of the day - crawling into bed. Which is the exact opposite of my least favorite time of the day - when I hear the pitter patter of feet (big or small) and I realize that it is still dark.

It is odd that my most favorite and least favorite times of the day are always following each other. The sleep aid allow me to have the 'I got two more hours of sleep' excitement when I get little ones back to sleep each night.

It is a good partnership - I love them... they help me.

We work good together.

updates on a Saturday quiet morning...

My friend Beth sent me this photo of me and the kids at her son's b-day party. It is rare that everyone is smiling at the camera so I loved this photo... I'm glad she sent it to me. She is awesome and this is why I love her for all these years.


These chances for me to update this blog seem to get fewer and fewer this summer. I am not kidding - the two classes I am in are really kicking my a##!!! But I think it is due for some updates, so here I am...

Still waiting for the patho results for Olivia's surgery last week. They must have cauderized the bleeding area b/c she has had any spotting since last week. I need to make the follow up appt..

My own mammogram was normal. I guess I get a free ride now for 3 years. I don't plan on having another one anytime during school.

I had a really bad day last week when I got the grade for a paper I had turned in for one of my classes. My friends all got 95%, 97% and 100%, so I was anxious to see my own grade - sure it was going to be great.

Not so... I got an 87%. The teacher tore up my paper! I was highly insulted because I thought I turned in an awesome writing paper, but it was also the first big paper I've had to do in 11 years, right? (I had a paper that I did for our last class in the spring, but I don't think that guy even reads it).

This teacher is VERY strict and follows the rules about writing to 't'. She took away points for it not being 100% APA style which is a writing style for college papers. Since then, my other class has drilled us with learning APA style - so I'm sure that I'm better at it now than I was in May.

Next paper for this class is due June 30th. Hoping for a better grade.

REALITY CHECK - I have 4 children, married to a busy, overtime working guy, am working and attending college in a master's degree level college and still getting A's. Why do I let one B on a paper pull me down? I don't know but I did.

Happy Father's day to everyone this weekend. Sunday is also my birthday so I have to share it with my hubby and my dad... not so bad. We are all planning (me and my whole clan, my parents, and Rich/Patricia) on going out to an early dinner together. Hopefully it won't be so bad and the children will behave.

It is my only prayer this weekend.

I need to spend time working on my paper -Bryan is taking the children to a party at his sister's house. I'm hoping to get a good part of this done.

Olivia's surgery/procedure

Olivia had her procedure today. It was a l-o-n-g day... didn't have to be at the hospital until 12pm.

Luckily, I knew (used to work with) the nurse who took care of her before she went in and went to school (last semester) with the nurse who had her post-op.

Plus, a student nurse anesthestist gave her the anesthesia. I introduced myself and found out she is almost done... will graduate in Dec. of 2009. She will be there when I start in August.

She advised me that the schedule kept for the first year is really difficult - but did say that it was 'do-able'. She made sure I was aware that it would be harder with children.

Great.

Olivia did well. She didn't even have an IV for it. They just used the gas to put her to sleep for a short while. She woke up with a terrific headache, crying. But they have motrin and she was better within a half hour.

The doctor didn't really find anything. She did notice a small area (just inside) that was weeping blood and raw. She swabbed it for a sample, but no bleeding from above that - which is good.

No tumors or anything.

She did mention that she couldn't rule out pinworms and that she sent down specimens that would tell her if they are present. She explained that if she had pinworms, she would be itching in her sleep and causing bleeding.

However, Olivia has not ever itched down there. She denies any itching and I would have noticed her scratching at some point over the past 8 months, right?

I don't think that is it...besides - people with pinworms lose weight. She as definitely not lost weight.

Doctor says she know more next week sometime.

Paige and Wade

Just so I don't leave out the two little ones...

Here are some recent photos. We were at Andrew Maldonado's 1st birthday party. He is the son of my friend and former roommate, Beth, and is one month younger than Paige.

The party was at Tree tops park and painfully hot that day. Compared to the weeks of rain we've had though, it was pretty and they lucked out with the weather.

As always, it was nice to see everyone in their family.

Hip hop show... more

This is Meredith's group. It would take forever to upload the videos - they are big files - but maybe later, I'll try.

Hip hop show... 2009

Olivia and Meredith had the end of the year Hip Hop performance in May.

Bryan, me, Wade and our neighbor Jessica all attended. Paige stayed home with Grandma.

It was a long show - but good music so who can complain.

These photos are of Olivia's group and Wade sitting with daddy.

Some photos - June 2009

All of the end of the year activities were a lot of fun I'll spend a few minutes posting some recent photos.

These first photos are from the end of April. (yes, that is how long they have been stuck inside my camera).

The girls' elementary school has an annual outdoor called Tana-kee-kee. All grades participate in it and it becomes a great tradition that they all look forward to.

Different grades are assigned roles and projects that teach the other grades about life and history of Florida.

Kindergarten = Florida wildlife. (they have to make a puppet of animals found in Florida)

1st grade - Citrus growers. (they sing a song about the goodness of citrus and have games like 'grapefruit bowling' for the other grades to play).

2nd grade - Ranchers - (they dress like cowboys and sing around a pretend campfire).

3rd grade - Pioneers - (they dress like pilgrims and host a trading post. they sing songs)

4th grade - Seminoles - (they create miniture thatch huts and villages and sing songs while doing rain dances.)

5th grade - Military - (they have army tents and games inside the tents to show the younger ones what it is like to live outdoors.)

This year, Olivia was a pioneer. (pictured with Bryan) and Oliva was a Citrus grower (with me).

I was unable to go to both days... Bryan had to fill in.

Paige spoke with me today.

Well, it finally happened. Paige called me 'Mama' from across the room.

I was walking away from her, as she was sitting in the comfy, blue Thomas the Train seat that Auntie Linda gave Wade. She was all set up to watch TV and I thought I'd sneak off to make a fresh cup of coffee and check my email.

Suddenly, I hear - "Mama... Mama" from behind me. At first, I thought I had imagined it. So I kept walking.

Then she said it again, so I turned around to see her sitting straight up and looking at me... calling me.

How cute is that?

She is not a little baby anymore and an active part of this household.

Too cute...